Funny Valentine

About Funny Valentine

Funny Valentine is the 23rd President of the United States and the hidden hand behind the Steel Ball Run. A patriot of absolute conviction, he learned of the holy corpse scattered along the race route and means to claim its power for America, whatever it costs, and whoever it costs. He is the most dangerous man on the continent, and he never has to ride a mile of it.

Appearance

Valentine is a powerfully built man with long, wavy blond hair and a heavily scarred back, dressed in immaculate presidential suits, though he sometimes appears oddly shorter or leaner, a side effect of his Stand. He carries himself with absolute calm and ceremony, a man who treats every conversation as state business and every opponent as a negotiating position.

Personality

Valentine is a patriot of total conviction: he believes America's prosperity justifies any sacrifice, including other people's lives, and he delivers this philosophy with eerie sincerity, in his own mind he is the hero, taking 'the first napkin' before any other nation can. He is courteous, patient and utterly immovable, which makes him more frightening than any raving villain in the series.

Background & Story

Funny Valentine served his country as a soldier before rising to the presidency, carrying the scars, and the certainty, of that service. He learned that the parts of a miraculous holy corpse lay scattered across America along what would become the Steel Ball Run route, and that whoever gathered them could bend fortune itself toward their nation. Valentine backed Steven Steel's race as the perfect cover, seeding the route with his own agents. He never rides a mile of it himself; the whole continent is his chessboard.

Powers & Abilities

• Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap (D4C): Valentine's Stand lets him slip between parallel worlds by pressing himself between two objects, and to bring versions of himself, or others, across from neighbouring worlds.
• D4C - Love Train: Empowered by the holy corpse, D4C gains a wall of light that redirects all misfortune aimed at Valentine onto someone else, somewhere else in the world.

Key Relationships

• Johnny Joestar: The racer whose journey keeps colliding with Valentine's design; Johnny becomes the opponent his philosophy cannot simply buy or bury.
• Gyro Zeppeli: The Spin master standing between Valentine and the corpse, and between the President and the amnesty story he is exploiting.
• Lucy Steel: The promoter's wife who spies out his secret; Valentine recognises her importance to the corpse sooner than she does.
• Steven Steel: The promoter he sponsors and uses, a useful innocent whose race hides a presidential treasure hunt.

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